I can help. I help my friends and family all the time.
I’m their shoulder to cry on and I’m good at it.
Well… that’s wrong thinking.
While being in the place of a “helper” is something which we all naturally do when it’s coming to help friends and family,
and while some of us do it far better than others,
it has nothing to do with being a professional helper, such as a coach.
Being a skilled helpers, means to know how to listen attentively using various active listening skills, knowing to listen on different listening levels.
It’s knowing how to assist people to unfold their story bit by bit, in the right pace and to the right depth.
It means to help them get clarity, remove obstacles and deal with sabotaging habits and thoughts.
It’s helping them to look at new possible options and to take control over their lives.
It’s knowing to use various helping models, growth models, and different coaching tools.
It’s knowing do it with no judgement,
without telling the client what they should do or should think,
without giving advice or giving the client solutions (the solutions should come from the person we help, and you need to know how to encourage that).
It’s approaching the client with ample empathy and
encouragement to find solutions,
and the deep and honest belief that the client has the power within themselves to improve and create the desired change.
When coaches offer their help, they bring their experience, knowledge and skills, so that the journey they go on with the person they assist is meaningful and bares results.
Coaching allows us to help the client to unfold their story in a safe and confidential environment,
to explore calmly,
to take decisions in a calculated and informed way,
and to learn how to navigate their lives on their own.
while many of us are GREAT people-persons, and we “have it” when it comes to helping others,
and while we most definitely are the ones others come to when they want to share, unload and get advice,
we should not stop doing that,
as this is WONDERFUL.
Only it’s not professional helping, and most definitely not coaching.
But please, please, please keep helping!
Your presence in someone else’s life, your love, care and hugs can make a huge difference.
For someone else to know that you’re there, it can mean the world!
With appreciation to what you already do,
The ICCI team.